Friday, April 23, 2010
It's been a long time since I blogged. Things have probably changed so much that I think that I'm happy being alone in my world. Well, maybe I just have to get use to it and then slowly I'll get back up on my feet again and become even stronger. Then I'll be back to my normal self. I can't figure out what I'm thinking and it's so scary when you thought you had everything in control suddenly you realise that you're slowly losing it again. I sat down watching some boys playing pool. They weren't good with the strategic thinking but they were much more accurate than me. I keep wondering if staying in this sport really makes me better or getting pressurized and start losing my inner-self's confidence.
I'm quite tired, getting all the sighs and comments from people. Can't I just wear whatever I want? I'm not those no life players that always play pool and have no fashion sense. People tell me because guys can't play pool (not being thick-skin) but I mean like fuck you seriously. You play me or to look at me? If you can't concentrate then too bad lah.
I miss Classic so much. Those freedom, those carefree days, those stupid races with G that I won't even pay for if I lose. What's happening? Why do things have to change? Or probably why do good things have to change? Why is it that it's always happening in my life. I can't stop complaining but I really feel that it's always me. Like as though I'm freaking unlucky? Have I not gone through enough last year?
Sigh, but I should seriously shut up. Compared to those people who are disabled, who have never ever even step into a pool hall or who can't even see the light, I'm much more fortunate and I should start trying harder to solve all these problems.
ACCEPTANCE 9:19 PM
